Bonjour pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît corriger la traduction que j'ai faite, merci

traduction: Hello. today i am going to talk to you about the differences of the balck panter film produced by marve the difference with the traditional marvel film is that this one is based mainly on africa its customs its traditions the main actors have black skin, they have the means to defend their wealth, and therefore do not suffer starvation, have an election system in their own way are not forced to bow to other nations whose rulers have white skin do not feel inferior to their technologies, but on the contrary far exceeds them, with a well advanced civilization. in this film the African people can recognize themselves because some
Customs and traditions of the real world are included in the film, but there is also a big difference between the film and the real facts because in the film we have too much advanced in the future on the African side and their ways change drastically.

ce que je voulais dire:bonjour. je vais aujourd'hui vous parler des différences du film balck panter produit par marve la différence avec les film traditionnel marvel est que celui-ci se repose essentielement sur l'afrique ses coutumes ses traditions les acteurs principales ont la peau noir, ils ont les moyens de defendre leurs richesses, et ne subissent donc pas famine, ont un system d'election à leur maniere ne sont pas oubliger de s'incliner devant d'autres nation qui ont comme dirigeant la peau blache ne sentent pas inferieur à leur technologies, mais au contraire les depasses de loin, avec une civilation bien avancé.dans ce film le peuple africains peut se reconnaître car certaines
coutumes et traditons du monde reels sont inclu dans le film, mais il y aussi une grande diffence entre le film et les faits reels car nous avons dans le film une trop grande avancés dans le future du cote des africains et leurs manieres changent drastiquement.​


Sagot :

Réponse :

Hello. Today i am going to talk about the differences in the Balck Panter movie produced by Marve. The main difference with the traditional marvel film is that this one is mainly based on africa, its customs and its traditions. The main actors are black. They do not suffer from starvation because they have both the desire and the means to defend their wealth. They have an election system in their own way and they are not forced to bow to other nations whose Government have white skin. They do not feel inferior to White people's technologies, but on the contrary far exceeds them, with a well advanced civilization. In this movie the African people can recognize themselves because some  traditions from the real world are included in the film. However, there is also a huge difference between the movie and the facts because in the movie there is too much advanced technologies from the future compared to African.

Explications :

Globaly:

-careful with your ponctuation, it was hard to understand at first

-your sentences should not be so long, try to avoid to include more than one 'because' in a sentence.

-film is correct but movie sounds more english

-avoid easy words such as 'bad' 'big 'good' and replace them with synonym: it will improve your writing.

-alos, no need to say 'real facts' beacause facts are already something real. Same for 'I am going to talk to you', 'I am going to talk about' is enough.