I swear, I tried to pretend. So many times. I hated this place. It felt like I was dead inside but alive at the same time. Like someone gave life to an inanimate body. Mine. Colors felt dead. Sounds sounded chocked. Everything seemed empty and everyone lost. Though, I was the only one who felt that way. If I asked someone, anyone, life seemed exciting to them. I once asked my dad « is life supposed to feel so dead ? » and I remember him looking at me, confused and said « should I feel like my daughter is a disappointment, an useless thing ? Stop asking stupid questions, you are wasting my time. ». I was on the edge of the bridge, thinking « why would god put a dead soul on earth ». And I realized. I was an error. Error are made to be cancelled, deleted. I jumped. And the worst part is that people were there, looking at me. And even there, nobody stopped me. Like I wasn’t there. I didn’t even cry, screamed, got scared. I knew it was how it had to end. Alone, like I always been, in this dark place.
