Sagot :
Hello! Voilà quelque propositions:
... children in our time. Today, poor children have to work to survive, work to eat, and when...
Que veux-tu dire par “They are well obliged?” Je crois que tu peux juste enlever cette partie et juste dire : What could be more human than wanting to live?
... the last of our priorities. However, our children should be allowed to go to school and learn rather than killing themselves to survive.
I denounce forcing children to work; indeed, they must go deep into mines and sneak into galleries in order to collect precious coal. They have no choice but to do this to survive.
... no child should be afraid of a gallery collapsing on him...
Children’s mortality rates are high ; for example, they can die from gas explosions in the mines, galleries collapsing, lung diseases.
... government to change that. In my novels, I will denounce it as much as I can.
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Bravo! Le texte est très bien écrit. En soit, presque rien n’est faux! Mes suggestions améliorent juste un peu la fluidité. Une chose, fait attention à ne pas faire des phrases trop longues (j’ai le même problème haha). Si tu veux les faire longues tu peux rajouter par example un ; ou une autre ponctuation!
J’espère que ça t’as aidé! ❤️
... children in our time. Today, poor children have to work to survive, work to eat, and when...
Que veux-tu dire par “They are well obliged?” Je crois que tu peux juste enlever cette partie et juste dire : What could be more human than wanting to live?
... the last of our priorities. However, our children should be allowed to go to school and learn rather than killing themselves to survive.
I denounce forcing children to work; indeed, they must go deep into mines and sneak into galleries in order to collect precious coal. They have no choice but to do this to survive.
... no child should be afraid of a gallery collapsing on him...
Children’s mortality rates are high ; for example, they can die from gas explosions in the mines, galleries collapsing, lung diseases.
... government to change that. In my novels, I will denounce it as much as I can.
————
Bravo! Le texte est très bien écrit. En soit, presque rien n’est faux! Mes suggestions améliorent juste un peu la fluidité. Une chose, fait attention à ne pas faire des phrases trop longues (j’ai le même problème haha). Si tu veux les faire longues tu peux rajouter par example un ; ou une autre ponctuation!
J’espère que ça t’as aidé! ❤️